Isle of Flightless Birds
by itzarazorblade
Summary: Becky just wanted to make Sam a little jealous, but has made Dean very sick and Castiel very confused instead. Dean should've just listened to Sam and not gone in that bar, then he wouldn't have been put in this situation. Which he totally does not enjoy. No sir. Not one bit...
1. You Know You Like It

**Chapter 1:  
You Know You Like it**

Dean slid onto the bar stool in what Sam had announced was the "Sketchiest looking place ever" and that he didn't care "how many women are in there", he wasn't going to join Dean on his booty patrol.  
Sam was certain that no bar with a motel on the second floor could be good for anything except mistakes and felonies.  
Despite the repulsive appearance of the outside the inside was quite atmospheric, low lights, cherry wood bar. Nothing looked particularly broken… but nothing looked particularly new either. The air conditioning must've been broken because the air was thick. It felt like he had just sat down under a cloud of nicotine and the smell of sex mixed with regret. He expected nothing less from a den of iniquity, as Cas would say.  
Sam was seriously missing out, Dean decided, as he winked at a busty jet black haired gift from heaven across the bar and she gave him a confident smile back, which Dean promptly missed in favour of looking at her cleavage.  
How could he not though? She was in a jean top so tight she appeared to have been poured into it and was spilling out over the top of the rough cut edges. As she stood and approached Dean he swore she was gonna pop right out of that top or that her painted on leather pants were just going to tear every time she bent her legs.

"Hey kitten", she drawled out.  
"Hey…" Dean stammered as he continued to stare at her breasts which were now directly in his face as he was sitting and she was standing.

She tapped on the bar top and held 2 fingers up, smiling at the bartender.  
Dean thought to himself that for some reason, her presence made him feel calm. Her face was possibly the most beautiful he'd ever seen, and he trusted her implicitly.

She stood for a moment staring deeply into Deans eyes. He believed he'd never seen a bluer blue than in that moment. After a giggle, she handed him the shot of Jameson she'd just procured from the bar. They clinked shot glasses, he knocked it back and had just enough time to think to himself,  
"Since when does whiskey taste like flowers",  
before she leaned in, breasts jiggling millimeters from Deans face, and whispered something into Deans ear. Her breath tickling the edges of his ear and causing the hairs on the back of his neck to stand on end.  
And then he remembers nothing.

It was dark and he couldn't move. He tested the waters by rocking slightly and he found himself to be in a wooden chair. His arms were tightly tied behind him and an extraordinarily clean white cloth was over his eyes. Normally in these situations they don't go to the trouble to use freshly laundered linens to put on your face. Or leave your mouth ungagged.

Dean chuckled,  
"Look, I don't know what your game plan here is sister, but I promise you, you're in over your head."

"He's awake!" a high pitched voice grated out somewhere a few feet directly in front of him.  
"I told you he wasn't dead, now pay me before I take my payment in the form of you." He recognized that voice to be the woman from the bar.  
He heard a squeek and then that same obnoxious voice,  
"Jeeze Devina, I would never stiff you. You've been so helpful!"

"I'm equal opportunity, ladies, I'm absolutely willing to hit back. Now…"  
Dean had already begun getting his hands free with the knife he kept in his boot.  
"If ya let me go… I'll be nice and just kill the witch with the nice rack."  
"No, Dean, you have to stop. You can't take off the blindfold until she's gone...right?"  
"Oh god." Dean groaned.  
"Becky…."  
There was a sigh.  
"Look. I know this is a little severe but… I just need Sam to get a little...jealous, you know? So he realizes how much he really loves me."  
"Ok Becky…" Dean was very careful how he chose his words. Last time Becky had supernatural help it was extraordinarily bad.

"Why don't you just untie me and… We can go talk to Sammy together? I'll tell him how kind you're being to me."

"No… No I already got Devina to give you the potion and she knocked you out and she even carried you upstairs to my room…"  
"Damnit...Sammy was right… I hate it when he's right."

He heard the door open and close and the click of boots.

"She left, right Becks? So uh" Dean licked his lips and put on his best award winning smile.  
"You can untie me now, right?"  
He had nearly gotten his hands free.  
Becky sighed again,  
"Alright but… when it hits you, no funny stuff ok? I'm saving myself for Sammy. This things pretty strong according to my witch friend and it's going to make you need to touch me. But that's just to ensure you don't run off… Having to tie up Sammy last time was so depressing. It sent mixed messages, I know. But with this I don't have to tie you down, you won't want to not be around me, you pretty much can't not be around me-"  
"Only I get to call him that."  
Becky made an unhappy grunt/scoff in his direction.  
Dean heard the door fly open and there was a very brief sound of protest from Becky and a very bright light. So bright Dean thought the blindfold had been taken off and he was outside staring at the sun for a second. Then the darkness returned.

The familiar smell of tube roses and honey surrounded him as skin briefly brushed against his cheeks and hands that seemed to be light as a feather while still using force to rip through the knot in the cloth covering his eyes ghosted past him. And just as soon as they were touching him, they were gone.  
"Dean."  
Castiel said with just the slightest inflection of concern that anyone else on earth, except maybe Sammy, wouldn't have noticed in his typical monotone. He tipped his head to the side, as he frequently does when interacting with anyone.  
Dean blinked a few times and freed his own hands and rubbed his eyes as the blurry vision of the angel came into focus. He smiled.  
"Heyyyy Cas-"  
Dean stopped short as he felt bile rise up into his throat. His heart was beating so fast he knew at any moment it was going to burst. He panicked and squirmed, holding his stomach as he leaned forward to vomit. He began to break out into a cold sweat. Right before he threw up, Cas put a hand on his shoulder and it all stopped. Everything was okay. It was better than okay. It was beautiful. It was warm. It was comforting. It was arousing. He felt pure calming ecstasy tingle across his being, warm and welcoming. And it all seemed to be radiating from Castiels hand placed on his shoulder, but ever so slightly on the nape of his neck  
"Are you okay, Dean?"  
"Oh god…" Dean choked out.  
Dean covered Castiels hand with his own and shimmied it up his neck, he shivered, goose flesh broke out across his arms. He splayed Cas' fingers with his own and pushed his pinky up onto his face and began nuzzling it. Dean felt himself make a little noise and quickly began focussing very hard on not making any MORE noises.

Deans entire body twitched. Lurching forward for a moment in a way that normally only occurred when he orgasmed but in hindsight this did feel very similar, except without the muscle spasms.

Castiel being the boundary-less angel of the lord that he was immediately delved into Deans mind and essentially RAN back out.

"Dean…"

"Would you stop...saying my name and spit out whatever it is already." Dean whispered through gritted teeth, proud that he managed to get oxygen to leave his body in a semi normal fashion to make a sound that wasn't obscene.  
Dean realized he had closed his eyes at some point and opened them, immediately releasing Castiels hand, suddenly the room got very cold.

"Dean I think...we may have a problem."

Dean looked up at Cas for a second before a smile broke out across his face.

"Yea" Dean chuckled,

"I was outsmarted by a little girl, Becky no less. Where did she go anyhow?" He started to stand up but the room was twisting and spinning and moving as if he were on a boat.  
"She's been….relocated"  
Deans stomach fell again as the room began to sway so much that he lost his balance.

Cas caught Dean as he swayed dangerously far to the left. Dean clutched the front of Cas' trenchcoat so hard he popped off a button in the front.  
He steadied himself and for a moment he felt normal again, and then it started back up.  
He felt like he was standing in the sun on a perfect day in a big grassy field. Only when he looked up, it was not in fact the sky, but Castiels eyes staring back at him. Dean stood up a little straighter with the assistance of pulling on Cas' trenchcoat. He knew if he could just get a little bit closer...If he could just touch him more. If he could get more of Castiels skin to touch his own...His breathing had gone heavy and he forgot to blink for what must have been an unnatural amount of time. His face was so close to Castiels. Just a little extra touch. That's all. Just more contact. Their noses nearly touching. Dean felt like he was going to burst any moment with this strange rush of a high that was ruling his actions. He NEEDED to touch him more. Needed more of this feeling. This incredible warmth and pleasure. He didn't want much, right? Just a little closer. A little longer. He closed his eyes slightly as he leaned in to Castiel, his breath rolling over the angels lips.

"Dean….I can't in good conscience let you do that." Castiel said pushing him back and holding him at arms length. Dean felt like sobbing as the intense pleasure went back to just feeling a little floaty and warm.  
"Why not?" he asked completely dumb founded at his own words.  
"Because" Castiel let go of Deans shoulders and Dean distinctly felt the air leave his lungs so abruptly he heaved a little.  
"You're being affected by a love potion."  
"Oh my god" Dean began tremmoring and he was having a hard time focussing on anything except Cas' lips. He bent over from the pain shooting up his spine,

"You're the first person I saw…" He whispered before finally violently wretching and emptying his stomach on to the floor.


	2. Take Me to Church

**Chapter 2:**

 **Take Me to Church**

After possibly the most pleasurable teleporting he had ever experienced in which Dean was certain if Castiel had help him any longer he would have just cum right then and there, compared to the typical, some...intestinal troubles, Castiel had gotten both himself and Dean back to the seedy hotel that Dean and Sam were staying in.

Dean wanted to walk around and figure out where Sam had gotten to and warn him about Becky's existence but all he could do was stand to the right of Castiel, back turned on him, holding his hand.  
He couldn't let go. It was too unpleasant.

"This is all your fault, ya know." Dean growled  
Cas didn't say anything.  
"You pulled that blindfold off me without even checking to see what was going on, you just jumped into the situation knowing damn well that Becky messes around with witches and crazy shit like this!" Dean was getting so angry.  
He didn't like not being in control, especially of his own body. His own mind.  
Dean abruptly made an about face, jerking Castiels arm down and clearly catching the angel off guard as he stumbled all the way up to Dean, the space between them now being centimeters instead of the 12 inches of space their outstretched arms allowed.  
He stared Cas straight in the eyes for a moment, breath becoming uneven and the need creeping back into his very core.  
He needed to touch Castiels skin more than he needed oxygen or food or water or all of them combined. He needed Castiel as he imagined Castiel needed heaven, or God.

He continued to stare at Castiel for a moment longer while Cas just stood there, nearly touching him, looking very concerned, holding his hand.

Dean scrunched up his nose in disgust with himself and his lack of control. He noticed being near Cas without achieving the level of touch that he wanted had caused him to begin to break out in a flop sweat. It was cold but still slimy and disgusting.  
In that moment Dean decided to take his control back and he let go of Castiels hand.

He immediately felt the loss. As if he would never see Cas again. As if someone had punched a hole in his soul with a crude metal hole puncher. He tried to shake it off but his voice betrayed him as it broke like a preteen boys does mid sentence,  
"I'm going to take a shower."  
"I could come with you if that eases your discomfort until we figure out something better…" Castiel offered.  
Dean scoffed. He could absolutely shower alone.

He sauntered over to the bathroom, all the while trying to keep some semblance of manliness and dignity to stick around as he clearly appeared to be suffering while he moved farther and farther from Cas.  
After throwing up and spiking a fever he managed to peel the sweat drenched clothes off of himself and get into the shower.

For a few minutes, the physical things went away and it was just the aching sadness that he felt when Cas wasn't near as he stood directly under the shower head allowing the hot water to just pour over him. Trying to scold out the desperate missing of Cas' touch and but also the emotional aspect. He tried to clear his mind, but after 30 minutes under the soothing water he seemed to have reached his limit.

The room spun and he clenched his eyes shut. Leaning on the freezing shower wall. He slid down it, completely losing his ability to tell which end was up and lied down in the tub.

Another wave of nausea crashed against him and he rolled over so he didn't drowned in his own vomit should he actually throw up. Just as quickly as it came the nausea disappeared and he was stricken with a panic so strong he knew this was the end. Cleary his heart was giving out as it ached in his chest and flopped around like a dying fish gasping for oxygen. He felt his eyes start to roll into the back of his head as he shook violently. He couldn't breathe. Oh my god this was where he was going to die, right here, naked in a bathtub. He tried to slow his breathing but it felt like he just couldn't inhale hard enough. His hands went numb.  
'Am I having a stroke?...Have I even ever had a panic attack?'

He felt impossibly soft fingers grab either side of his face and little tiny spurts of electricity, like when you plug something into a wall and touch the metal on accident. that buzzing that goes all the way up your arm

The shivers disappeared and he stopped sweating. Someone turned off the water He arched and flushed and gasped and grabbed the wrists of the person holding his face. He mpamed. Outloud. He didn't have the brain capacity to have humility, masculinity AND composure. He moaned in between gasps of prescious air that he was certain he'd been depriced of. and moaned as his entire body felt like it was alive after being deprived of oxygen and his very soul for hours. His face tingled and it spread down his throat and his torso, across his arms and down his legs to his toes and he was in the land of the living again as he opened his eyes to see Castiel hovering over him, shaking him and...was he yelling? Sound returned to Dean. Yes, Cas was yelling.

"Drean? Dean I don't know what to do in this situation...!"

Dean took a few more huge gasps of breath and dug his nails into Castiels wrists and sputtered, he used Cas' arms to pull himself out of the bathtub and wrap a towel around his waist. It was already embarrassing enough that this was even happening, let alone while he was naked. He turned to face Cas' side again and grabbed his wrist. It somehow felt less creepy than lacing their fingers together

"It stopped..."

Cas looked at him critically.

"Thank god you called for me, you could've had a seizure and hit your head." Cas said, moving one hand back to examine the back of Deans head for blood.

Dean steeled himself and decided he just needed to try harder to control his wants and needs, so he let go of Castiels wrists and Cas pulled back his hand. Dean began shivering again, feeling the cold return. He shakily reached out with an, even for him, oddly unsunkissed bronzed hand that just appeared to be losing blood rapidly and turning an odd shade of yellow, and grasped the cuff of Cas' trench coat and pulled.

"Wait, wait don't let go it's coming back..."

Cas furrowed his brow, tipping his head to the side.

"..you want me to... hold your face?"

Dean took in a few breaths to try and organize his thoughts, and steady his voice,  
"look...I don't care...Where you hold me. Just as long as I don't have to feel that way again."

The shivering continued to get worse and he felt himself become clammy again. He slithered his hand limply up Castiels sleeve and wrapped a hand around his wrist and the insanity pulled back, leaving a sweat covered disheveled Dean behind. Like the ocean's tide, crawling back down the beach and leaving behind it foam, garbage and dead things. And in that moment, Dean decided he needed it. Needed more. He needed to try to become a part of Castiel. He pulled Cas in by the wrist so hard he threw him off balance and caught him by grabbing Castiels face.  
"Dean…"  
Deans eyes darted quickly between Cas' lips and his eyes. He licked his lips and swallowed hard.  
"What is it Castiel." He let the angels full name roll out of his mouth like a red carpet connecting their two mouths, only on Castiels end was communion.  
Deans breath seemed to have sent shivers down Castiels spine as Cas went from looking worried to looking down and to the right, losing eye contact.  
"The level of consent in your actions…. what you want to do. It's not right. There is no proof that you actually feel this way."  
Dean smirked, if love was liquor he was shit faced, he took one of his hands off of Cas' face and gently held it before setting it on his toweled hip and slowly moving it to the center of his pelvis. Cas tried to pull his hand back and keep looking away but Dean snatched his chin and his hand back,  
"No no. Look at me." He mumbled in his typical husky voice that he used while hunting something he particularly hated. Maybe it just happened everytime he had a strong emotion. He smoothed Castiels hand over his erection. Castiels eyes got wide and he froze. He had no idea what to do.  
"Come onnnn" Dean whined with his biggest puppy dog eyes but clearly his demon smile,  
He edged his face a little closer to Cas'  
"I can feel it radiating off of you Cas."  
He tipped his head brushing their lips over each other and cas made a high pitched grunt and fluttered his eyes open and closed.  
Dean smiled even wider he slithered his tongue out of his mouth, swiping his tongue along Castiels lips who gasped a little and tried to pull away. Dean tightened his grip on Cas' wrist, rubbing up and down through the towel.

"I can't do this Dean, it's wrong, it's not what you truly want."  
Dean growled and shoved Cas against the bathroom door so hard it knocked the air out of Cas a little bit.  
"Don't you ever,"  
He pressed his body flush up against Castiels just the right way so that he could feel his erection through all those ridiculous layers of clothes Cas wore. He firmly placed a hand on either side of Castiels head, forcing him to look at him,  
"Don't you ever tell me what I want."  
His eyes flashed black for a second.  
He was going to take control of this situation, no matter how he did it.  
"I will tell YOU what YOU want."

And with that he closed the gap between their lips, sloppy at first, open mouthed and Cas' arms just hanging at his side until he felt Dean press his hips in close and grind. No, grind wasn't the word, his hips rolled, but the entire time kept contact. Grinding and rolling and kissing and licking and oh, now he was moving on to nibbling his lower lip. Oh god why wasn't his time having sex as a human like this.  
Dean wanted nothing more than to be the backward God, kneeling and praying at Cas' alter. Begging for release for his mortal body, from his needs and wants. From his insatiable desires. Cas whimpered and opened his mouth wider, begging for it to never end.  
"I'm gonna make you feel as powerless as I feel" Dean whispered.  
With how satisfying just the simplest touch had become to Dean, he was merely seconds away from blowing a load right there, he had been able to let go of Castiels hand and Cas just kept rubbing, faster and pressing harder as Cas' need grew.

Dean wasn't sure if it was the bathroom steam making it hard to breathe or his quickening respirations as he teetered on the edge. He reached down with his right hand, tipping Cas' face up with his left and delving his tongue in, first fairly shallowly, he felt he may explode at any moment and that if he died right then, it wouldn't be a bad way to go. Cas lifted his hands and slid them up Deans naked torsos sides which caused Dean to break the kiss and burry his face into Castiels collar bone. Cas' hands wandered back up, curving around Deans shoulderblades and Dean dug his teeth into Castiels collar bone which caused the angel to gasp loudly and buck his hips forward in the most beautiful display of sexual desire that Dean had ever felt as he ground his desperation to be touched and to touch back into Deans cock.

Cas felt Dean hold his breath, as if he was in pain and then he felt his shoulder and back muscles moving beautifully, rhythmically. As if they were trying to make music.

There was a harsh exhale of breath.  
Dean had been defeated. By his own body none the less.  
He couldn't control the natural continuation of his hips grinding into Cas' for a few second, getting slower and slower as his orgasm faded.

He grumbled,  
"God I am pathetic right now."  
Cas stood there rigidly, not knowing what to do,  
"No, you're essentially just intoxicated."  
Dean couldn't look at Cas,  
"You didn't even touch me… there."  
Cas stayed silent and stoic, pulling his arms from around Dean.  
Dean shivered. Here comes hell again.  
"I can keep holding you if you-"  
"Shut up."  
Dean gruffly mumbled, pushing Cas out of the way and exciting the bathroom.


	3. Holding onto You

Chapter 3: Holding on to You

After multiple hours of sitting across from each other in cheap, uncomfortable motel chairs with itchy fabric covering the seats, in what Dean believed to be awkward silence. Although; Castiel did not seem to be feeling anything while staring out the window except, possibly, concern. Dean swore it was the fifth day with Castiel just holding Dean's wrist over the table, when Sam finally came home.  
As he turned locking the door with one hand and looking down at his phone with the other he chuckled,  
"Alright Dean, what's going on." He turned the lock.  
"Cas sent me a text and all it says it's 'dean is compromised by oxytocin-"  
He froze and his face dropped as he turned to see Cas holding Dean's wrist with Dean, face down, forehead pressed against the table and other arm limp at his side. He looked dead.  
Sam dashed towards him as Cas held up one hand and quietly shushed Sam.  
"He finally fell asleep for a second. He keeps trying to get up and walk away and throwing up or passing out."  
"What the hell happened!" Sam exclaimed.  
"SHHHH!" Castiel urged.  
"He was poisoned by Becky with a love potion intended to have a very different result that would've lead her to you.."

Sam took a few steps back and sat down on the bed looking at the floor with his hands folded in his lap. At first, Cas believed Sam was beginning to cry,  
"Sam...don't...I'm sure there's a way to fix this. I can ask around and-"  
"FIX!" Sams smothered noises started to sound like someone was strangling him before turning into full blown, hysterical laughter.

"WHY WOULD I EVER WANT IT FIXED-" Sam sucked in air before starting to roll around on the bed holding his sides.  
"This is perfect, this is too perfect. What did I ever do to deserve such perfection." Sam cackled.

"By being the world's best younger brother, Sammy."  
Dean mumbled picking up his sleepy head and rubbing both of his eyes.  
Dean shivered a little.

He needed to touch Cas.

Sam gathered himself before saying,  
"Ok so, now that you have a reason out of your control to explain how you've always acted- Dean are you okay?"  
He was visibly shaking.  
He set his palms flat on the table and slowly shook his head yes, eyes moving rapidly as the room began to swivel.  
"I think we should go back to the bunker." He suggested quietly.  
"why, cuz you have a crush on Cas? No way, we have a case here."  
"Sam, I don't think Dean will be very...useful."  
Cas said the last word as Dean lost his battle against vertigo and slid ungracefully out of his chair and onto the floor.  
"uh, okay well. How do we fix him."  
"...I don't know. Frequently these things don't last very long. Sometimes as short as half a day. Depending on how powerful the witch was."  
"Can't I just find her and beat her into the ground until she gives me a quick fix…" Dean mumbled into the floor.

"...Oh-Kay...I'm going to finish what we started here and then I will get on the love potion issue. You said it was Becky? Where is Becky now?"  
"She's…-"  
"yea, Cas, taken care of, you said that." Dean tried to slide himself upright.  
"but what does that mean?"  
"Uh. Well. She's probably in some level of purgatory… She's a repeat offender with love potions. We can't just have her running around with all her information about you guys with witches."  
"Well get her back to earth ALIVE so that we can get some damn answers" Dean snapped,  
"can someone HELP ME OFF THE FLOOR."  
Sam snickered.

Cas transported himself and Dean back to the bunker and Dean slouched down onto his bed, sighing loudly.  
"I'm getting too old for this shit."

He started to shrug off his button up flannel shirt as it was covered in sweat.  
Cas just stood there watching.

"I can...feel, how uncomfortable you are."  
He stated in a tone that sounded more like a question than a fact.  
"I highly doubt you can. I've never been this…" Dean dry heaved,  
"uncomfortable in my-" He lost his balance trying to get his arm out of the sleeve.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON." he exclaimed.  
"I feel like that time that Same turned me into a vampire only worse." He slouched to the right, half his shirt still on.

Castiel walked up to him and placed a hand on the side of Deans face, tilting his body slightly to the left so that he could pull the other sleeve off the mans arm.  
Castiel blushed slightly as he heard Dean's thoughts begin to swirl around one single thought,  
'Keep touching me'  
Castiel stared at Dean for a moment.  
"It's less like a driving need to survive like the vampires" He mumbled as he slid his fingers back into Dean's hair,  
"It's more like…" He placed his other hand on the other side of Dean's face and this time Dean made an audible little gasp that he was too euphoric to be embarrassed about.  
Cas's words became a little breathy,  
"It's like a bad addiction. You withdraw from me when I'm not around. These potions are taken very...seriously."  
Dean rolled his face around in Castiel's hands, rubbing his cheeks on Cas' palms.  
"This feels different. Why does this feel different."  
Castiel put one knee on the bed to Dean's right. He leaned forward and smiled. He had found a way to cull the deafening screaming in Dean's head.  
"Because no matter how much you want to do drugs, drugs never want to do you." Castiel smiled as he crawled into Dean's lap.  
"This should bother me, how badly I need you to touch me. But all I can think about is you touching me…"  
Dean was Castiel's captive audience. Eyes wide and staring straight into the endless oblivion of galaxies that swirled in Castiel's blue eyes.

Dean tried to maintain some kind of semblance of himself and choked out,  
"Oh, are you saying you want to do me Cas because I've gotta say, I don't know how I feel about-"  
"Do you have faith in me, Dean?" Castiel asked as he brushed his lips over Dean's.  
"Do you believe I'd never do anything to hurt you?"  
Dean felt such incredible happiness well up in his chest a tear pricked the corner of his eyes and he blindly nodded his head yes.  
He reached up and grabbed Castiel's tie,  
"Entertain my faith."  
He whispered pulling Cas in closer and their lips clashed together.  
"What do you want me to do…" Cas breathed out between Dean's attacks on his lips.  
"Don't stop touching me…" Dean panted.  
"God it feels so good when I don't ask you to."  
"I told you, these potions are worse than drugs because no matter how badly you want drugs, drugs never want you back. But…"  
Cas ran a hand down Dean's chest.  
"A person, can want you back…And that's possibly the most potent thing I've seen in humanity over all the years."  
Dean grabbed Castiels wrist before his hand slid all the way down his abdomen.

"You're just trying to make me feel like I'm in control." Dean mumbled.  
"You ARE in control. I won't touch you if you don't want to be touched. I won't do anything I'm not positive you want. I'm just trying to make you feel better."  
Dean let go of Castiel's hand and nodded his head in agreement.  
"Just have faith in me, Dean. Tell me what you think you need."  
"it's only just tollerable when I touch you. It's way better if you touch me…"  
He shrugged his coat off and loosened his tie, but left the shirt buttons for Dean, who gave up after the first button because his hands were shaking too hard and he ripped the front of the shirt open.  
Castiel simply smiled as the shirt fell away and he kept his balance with a knee on either side of Deans hips, he allowed his wings to burst forth, tie still hanging loosely from his neck.  
Castiel leaned forward, pressing their chests together.  
"Just have faith, just hold on to me."  
Dean always knew Castiel was an angel, but he had never seen it so vividly as he did right now. Wings spread out behind him, arms open, a smile on his face.  
"ok…"  
"You need some sleep, Dean." Dean shook his head yes.  
"Wait, I.." Dean was getting drowsy,  
"Are you making me sleep?" he slurred out. Castiel just smiled.  
Dean tipped his head up timidly, this action wasn't coming from the raging craving inside gnawing away at him. It was far more earnest. He hesitantly put his lips to Castiel's and when Cas leaned forward Dean flinched back for a second before grabbing the back of Castiels neck and squeezing as he pressed their lips together in the only genuine action he felt he'd done in a while.  
Castiel wrapped his arms around Deans neck and let his wings close in around them, he sighed in relief as he lowered them to a laying position and Dean fell under Castiels grace and entered the best dream he could ever remember having. Everything was so warm and kind. Every touch from anyone felt like heaven.

He decided if this was what faith felt like, he would have it more often.


End file.
